I forgot just how hard this part is. Wow, I am tired and my ability to cope is at a all time low, just when I need it to be at an all time high. My nipples hurt like hell, even when she isn't nursing and I'm exhausted, and I am feeling fat and ugly and I can't even imagine a time when I'll have the combination of time and energy to actually exercise. I can't figure out how to get my daughter to fall asleep and I can't seem to settle her either. Very frustrating. It feels like this is the way it's going to be forever, days without end. I know that's not technically true, but it just might be. And while I am SO thankful for my beautiful little girl, last night all I wanted to do was stick her in the closet (it's a walk in and very nice :)) and walk away.
Which of course makes me feel like the lowest scum on the earth. Dan got up and walked her from like 12:30 to 2:00 and finally she fell asleep. I can't even imagine doing this on my own!
But I'm thinking that Emma may be the last... Oh and I think we have thrush... oh the joys.....
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