Thoughts on Pregnancy

I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but from my blogging of Emma's pregnancy, you can see that I really struggled with hating being pregnant. I did. I hated! being pregnant! The entire time. I resented getting big and squishy again and all the things that happen in pregnancy that are uncomfortable and irritating and inconvenient. I literally counted days. It was bad. I had a lot of fear going into this pregnancy that it would be the same.
But then I got pregnant and low and behold, it isn't the same. I am fine with being pregnant. I am fine with the fact that my boobs are FREAKIN HUGE! (OK a B but coming from a AA, it's a BIG difference!) I'm fine with the pregnancy acne that is literally attacking my poor epidermis. It doesn't bother me that I am running very slow for me, or that I am tired a lot. It's inconvenient of course, but it's not like I am thinking about it all the time. I literally have to remind myself and think about it before I can answer the question, "how far a long are you?" I'm not thinking about each passing day.
Why? Why the difference? I was thinking about it yesterday and I really think it's because I was "fit" or back in shape after Jackson for literally only a couple months before I got pregnant again. I was almost where I wanted to be at his 1 year birthday and then three months later I was pregnant again. It was a fast turn around and I didn't really even get to enjoy the fruits of my HOURS of labor before I started all over again.
But this time, I was in shape for over a year. I got to enjoy being normal  and vigorous and having two kids who were old enough to be lots of fun AND lots of work instead of just lots of work. AND there is the not inconsiderable fact that this is the last time. I won't have to start all over again, AGAIN! The relief is stupendous!
So, spacing them out as we've done has been the best choice possible and I am enjoying this last journey down the pregnancy road and hopefully as things get more uncomfortable, I'll be able to maintain feeling content and happy.
Though the one thing that hasn't been better is the fear of the actual delivery. Good GOD that hurts and now that I've experienced it twice, I know how much it hurts and there is NO WAY AROUND IT!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!
ONE BAD DAY! It's just ONE BAD DAY!
I went back and read a bunch of this blog. It's encouraging! It really perked me up! :) Working hard and just having a daily habit of exercise and eating better does really work. Even reading about my progress in Crossfit has been really encouraging. Yes, I still can't do most of the advanced moves or lift the Rx'd weight, but I AM stronger then when I started, I AM able to do many things that I couldn't before and lift heavier as well. I DON'T have ANY pain yet in this pregnancy. I am also not pushing myself to be fast when I run and I'm not running half as much as I was with Emma. But I am doing more CF and I really do think being stronger is making a big difference. Those millions of squats that I've tortured myself with have strengthened my pelvic girdle and my sacrum and so it just doesn't hurt. I'm hoping maybe even into the third trimester.
I also want to say I've only gained 2 POUNDS since I started. WHAT? I was up by 10 at this point last time. Like I've said, who cares about the scale, but it's still cool. (I also know that I weighed 6 lbs more, but I also know that my measurements were the same and I looked better too so whatever.)
But my boobs are way bigger. WHAT? Like, why? And they are still hurting so I'm worried they are still GROWING! STOP! :) It actually makes me laugh.... Also my but is still small. Yippee! Like my hip measurements haven't changed. At. All. WOW! I was up by over an inch and a half this time last time as well.
So to sum up, this pregnancy I am happy, my boobs are bigger but my butt is smaller. I can't run fast, but I don't hurt and I'm stronger oh and I'm not gaining weight as quickly either. I kind of think my belly is sticking out more too, but who knows when it's primarily bloat and guts at this point anyway.
Be encouraged oh readers of this blog. Bad experiences can be turned around. Thank the Lord for that!